Saturday, January 5, 2008

to live is Christ

i’ve been having trouble sleeping as of late. the causes vary, but the effect remains consistent. after jumping onto facebook at 1:00 in the morning, i chose to continue going through philippians.

as i read last night (this morning?), i came across that famous line of paul’s in philippians 1:21: “for to me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain.” paul is in prison, uncertain of his fate, whether he will live or die. but in his eyes, God will be glorified in either case. for as long as he lives, he will be dedicated to Christ. as long as he is breathing, all he does will be for the glory of God, not for himself. it reminded me of something said in donald miller’s Blue Like Jazz – a point his friend made, saying that living for something is harder than dying for something, because any sort of martyrdom is associated with personal glory, while indebting yourself to a cause or a person requires sacrifice and hard work, a surrender of self. paul is more than willing to do this for Jesus Christ, because paul believes He is worthy of all glory. however, his greater desire is to “depart and be with Christ” (v23). to him, death is the greater thing, because he would get to be with his Savior; it would be gain (v21).

my mindset is one that is often set in the present. i’m not a dreamer or a visionary who’s naturally inclined to set goals and look at the big picture. the future is so uncertain to me, so i try not to think about it a whole lot (overall, not all the time, mind you; i do have my dreams). what i neglect is that there is one thing i can be certain of; when i die, i will go to heaven to be with Jesus. i know i don’t live that way though. i’m quite attached to things on this earth, if i have to be completely honest. i would rather live than die. the fact that entering heaven to meet his Savior face to face was such a driving force in paul’s life makes me think. do i live in light of eternity, as paul did? in many (more like most) cases, i’m sure i don’t. and i pray that’s something that will change in me.

this brings me to the question melissa and i discussed yesterday at starbucks: why doesn’t God just take us right away? why aren’t we swept up into heaven as soon as we’re saved, if being with Him is so much better than being on this earth? why does he leave us here? interestingly enough, philippians 1:25 answers this question for me: “and being confident of this, i know that i shall remain and continue with you all for your progress and joy of faith.” there are two reasons why God requires the process of sanctification here on earth: 1) to allow our faith to progress, and 2) so we can encourage others as their faith progresses as well. we face uncertainty, endure trials, experience pain, all with the purpose of increasing our faith in God. and we need to surround ourselves with people, so that as our faith grows stronger, we can encourage and rejoice with them as theirs does the same. i like the idea of that; God wants us to choose to trust Him in the face of adversity. because if we trust Him, He will most certainly be faithful. making the choice to turn to Him instead of relying on our own strength or investing our hope in other things will inevitably cause our faith to grow, because God will never fail.

i know that my faith has certainly been increasing in the past couple of months. so really, despite the difficulties and the pain, the only reasonable option is to rejoice, because through it all, i have seen the Lord so clearly, and i know His plans for me are perfect. it is my prayer that He will subsequently be glorified through me.

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